The Kluck Index

Athletes are endorsing mayonnaise, Florida is gonna be wiped out, Dallas is going to get fried, we get a new place to use sunscreen and Britney's ex thinks he is going to be famous now lol

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Vasectomies are up, booze for the Gen Zers is down, Subway is being bought, Bab Barker is gone, we are a stressed bunch and the coop was completed!

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A Florida town is being terrorized, Mississippi goes hard at the concession stand, a new robot wants to get you hammered, climate change is ruining your home value and Kevin is coming to town!

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Ladies, wash your makeup utensils, Oscar Mayer needs to reel it in a bit, Amanda Bynes is out, Peach Pie is in and most of us are pretty OK with us. 

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We love our solitude, we got a new Navy ship, delivery food is down, tablet use is up, Harry Styles wants to help you get laid and we're all going to get heat stroke this week!

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Burning Man is cheaper than ever, things are not going well at Twitter/X, shaving your bits is a very dangerous deed, weed and boozer are up, degrees are down and we don't even know our own towns!

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Old Man Ernie's softball team makes the index, Florida woman doing Florida woman things, we celebrate the seniors today, Jason misses jury duty and Kid Rock drinks Bud Light!

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Mortgage rates are heading to the damned moon, the Gulf is boiling, we don't wash walls, don't go to the doctor when something hurts.....so yeah, things are going great!

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We love our drugs and alcohol, furries get violent, women don't like the morning sex, we all have big travel plans next year and we celebrate my favorite beverage today!

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Some of us would cheat for a stack of cash, pet owners are a gullible bunch, men say those three words faster than the ladies do and some of feel like our job is worthless. 

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