The Kluck Index

Russell Brand is out there grifting, today we celebrate the Straight Edge kids, Krispy Kreme is toasting today's Super Moon, and nobody trusts us. 

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Minute Maid screws up, Sweden and Denmark finally get around to not marrying cousins, none of us can pay attention and another heavy workweek for Diddy's lawyers!

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BK is bringing back a fan favorite, 3 Musketeers is pretty proud of themselves, San Bernardino sounds like a dump, robots may help make kids skinny and a Denver man stays on brand. 

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Stay out of Memphis, Kraken Rum wants to get you drunk on ice cream, solitude can be good for you, Chick Fil A is bringing back a "classic" and the banks are closed today. 

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Today raise a slice to the humble sausage, they're working on breast milk for adults, Americans are unhealthy and some kids may never reach their full potential. 

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It takes a lot of money to win an election, Jolly Ranchers has something snazzy headed our way, NYC has the worst rush hour in the world and most of us don't have cash on-hand when we need it!

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Sonic is trying to kill us every Thursday this month, Qantas sounds like a wild airline, ODs are down, curves are in and a YouTuber finds out why we don't text and drive. 

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Blimpie's is still out there, Crumbl is branching out, dentists are warning against TikTok veneers, Alaska is cranking out the killers and we're all skeered of WW3

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Some people are eating elephants now, whooping cough is so back, Butterfinger has a new jam for 2025 and Alabama got upset this weekend!

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We can bet on the election, NASA is making moon time a thing, Pink Floyd sold their music, Bank of America and a fat bear in Alaska both had rough weeks and it's National Vodka Day!!

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