The Kluck Index

Satan is up, the Lord is down, today we celebrate the fig newton, Britney had a rough weekend, Putin may be hanging up his suit and I didn't win a single lotto jackpot over the weekend!

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We do not care much for congress members, Sierra Mist was euthanized, we're not having babies fast enough and it's Friday the 13th!

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Mee-maw is on the weed, the WWE may have been sold, Cheetos has a bold new flavor and man, you thought YOU spent a lot of time in traffic? Pour one out for Chicago drivers. 

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Using the bus is down, the ozone is up, ESPN is getting into the snack game, Krispy Kreme won't stop until we're all dead and not one of us is drinking enough water. 

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The government is taking our stoves, most of us were hot for teacher, bicycles are after our children and a sad day for my mailbox.....

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Another lottery hits the Billy mark, we may be down a big lake soon, Reese's knows what it has, the Joker is expecting and Elon Musk sets a record nobody wants

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More COVID flying around, scientists think if we ever meet aliens we're gonna lose our minds, the Mega Millions is nearly a billion and there is a Sunday night Lions game?!!!

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Colorado is down one funeral home director, Louisiana sounds like an insane hell hole, growing up with money means you have a leg up on being a QB and Stanford comes over the top with some uhhhh "good" news!

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Papa John has a brand new bag, we need to declutter, there is a library in Colorado that PARTIES and we all went deep into debt for the holidays

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And we're back after a long holiday break! Lions are ready for prime time, we nearly lost Hawkeye, Bill Cosby wants to tour, the Treasury is having a bad time and Nostradamus predicts the bad times ain't even started yet!

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