The Kluck Index

Bernie Madoff didn't quite get what he deserved, we don't need the gym anymore, plastic bags may be going away and STDs are at an all time high! For the 6th straight year!!

Uber may be giving you a lift in a different way, the CDC wants Michigan to close up shop, there is vegan SPAM now and a Patriot retires.

We're getting a "Magic Mike" TV show, none of us are emotionally ready to retire, Michigan is not doing well keeping this COIV thing under control and none of us can remember our passwords!

Pizza Hut is making some changes, walking is good for that brain of yours, it's not Good Friday after all and we almost got cocaine burritos!

Nearly half of us are losing out ability to make small talk, we're losing out ability to procreate, getting more positive about the vaccine and a classic breakfast cereal celebrates a half century!

Being playful may help things at home, appreciate the manatee, roller skating is biggity back y'all! It's the last day of March let's gooooo!

We're getting new "Ally McBeal" for some reason, we're not sleeping much these days, something is killing young bears in SoCal and we cannot get enough TV.

Joe Exotic is not single, we're getting like, no sleep, the Gorilla Glue Girl is preggers and we're getting new Pop Tarts!

Our junk is literally shrinking our junk! You may be exercising yourself to an early grave, Pepsi has an AWFUL idea for soda and the pandemic has killed our retirement dreams!

Biden's dawgs are back, things aren't going well for Ellen, Slim Jims could we wiping out your mind, Rams are being recalled and the Lions are just mean!