The Kluck Index

Trader Joe's needs their rice back, Taco Bell has new sweet treats, four places in the US are ideal for hiding from nukes, don't hold your number twos and Britney is having a bad one bro....

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Open AI is walking back their unholy alliance with the government, we all hate tracked ads, Paramount is having a bad week at the office and give it up today for the humble Cheese Doodle!

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Outback is bringing back a combo, turns out a ton of us sing in the shower, time to rustle up some "boy kibble" and DQ is giving it away in a couple weeks!

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Bernie Sanders is about to lose all his Prime privileges, M&M's had 3 new flavors, SC is heavy tippin' and most of these kids are diabetics now!

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Vermont is tight and right, Johnsonville and Dr. Pepper are having a baby, the Tooth Fairy is up on the upswing and backseat drivers suck!

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Half of us could use some AI money help, Dominos has a new deal, we're getting the Big Arch and today we celebrate the humble Pokémon. Cheers to you, trainers!

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You need to start eating your greens, Famous Amos has their first new cookie, bone smashing is apparently a thing and the kids crave the DVDs!

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DQ is gearing up for baseball season, Wendy's is getting in the spirit of Lent, Flamin' Hot is tearing up your local Kroger and a man suffers a beatdown at Waffle House. 

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The grandson of the dude that invented Reese's is big mad, Costco has a new food court jam, our new Direwolves are doing just fine and today you need to fire up some Banana Bread

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Sugary drinks are gonna mess up these kids, a hotter bedroom can kill you, we have a new World's Oldest Manatee, loving your job can improve your health and I'm off to party this weekend!

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